Chaotic Spoonie Hacks: Fart Machine
Any time I encounter an ignorant person, I try to educate them first. Sadly, that doesn't always work. Sometimes people are just jerks and they don't want to change. Even more unfortunately, sometimes those people are healthcare providers.
In cases where it's safe to do so, I like to cause some slight chaos for entertainment. On that note, you can purchase remote control fart machines online.
Should you have a chronic condition, you could consider buying one and doing the following while hospitalized:
Hiding the fart machine on the opposite side of the room from you. Many hospitals have a few shelves across from the bed. I've heard hiding one there, among your items, is good. Best to hide it in your possessions
When an awful provider comes in, hold the remote out of view (or have a visitor do the same), press it when they do something like bend or drop something. A motion where it's not unheard of to accidentally do it.
This works best if there are multiple providers in the room.
You can then act a little shocked and remind them that you're stuck in the room.
Don't do it excessively! That's a fast way to give the prank away.
Of course, this is all hypothetical… I'd never do such a thing to awful providers…..
