Ask Aunt Lori - safe sex
Dear Aunt Lori,
I want to start having sex, but I want to do it safely. I DON'T want STIs!
Not Crabby
Dear Not Crabby,
Good on you for learning how to do it safely first! Your doctor can provide you with information about your specific situation, but I can give you some basic information. If you have any questions, don't hesitate to ask your doctor - they won't judge you or make fun of you. They would prefer to prevent an STI instead of treating one.
Regardless of if you're monogamous or polygamous, if you're having sex, it's best for you and your partner(s) to regularly have an "STI panel". Ideally, everyone should have one before becoming sexually active and then at regular intervals afterwards. The frequency of testing varies depending on several factors and may be anywhere from 6 months to a couple of years. If you have a cervix, you should have a yearly pap smear (HPV) with your annual exam.
For people aged 9-45, the vaccine for HPV, Gardasil, is highly recommended! HPV is a major cause of various cancers and conditions. It's recommended to get prior to becoming sexually active, and thus is recommended for preteens now - but can be given to adults 45 and below. It protects against 9 strains of HPV and should definitely be on your list of things to ask your doctor about!
Other than testing and vaccination, there are additional ways to practice safe sex. Condoms are the "gold standard" in safe sex. Did you know there are two types of condoms? Most people are familiar with the "male condoms" but there's also a "female condom".
For simplicity, I'll refer to them as "external" and "internal condoms". Their basic shapes are very similar; the most significant difference is that the internal condoms have a stiff rim so that it can be inserted into the vagina.
For step by step instructions on how to use them, click here.
External condoms are placed over the penis prior to sexual activities. There are specialized ones for latex allergies, flavored, ribbed, extra large, and other varieties.
For step by step instructions on how to use them, click here.
Both act as barriers between you and your partner(s) to prevent the spread of diseases and prevent sperm from reaching the eggs. During sexual activity, micro-tears are created in the tissues - hopefully none larger than microscopic ones! This makes it very easy for pathogens (disease causing germs) to spread from person to person. Some tissues are more susceptible to them, like the rectum, but any tissue has the potential for them.
Important to note here that condoms should be used with water based lubricants only. I love coconut oil and though it's slippery, it decreases the efficacy of condoms and shouldn't be used as a lubricant with condoms! Stick with KY jelly and others like it - there are an astronomical amount available!
Fluids are also easy "vehicles" for pathogens and preventing the mixing of sexual fluids drastically decreases the risk of spreading STIs. With this in mind, those engaging in oral sex should use "dental dams" as a barrier.
For Instructions on how to use a dental dam - plus how to create one from a condom - click here.
Knowledge has the power to help keep you safe; make sure you're well informed and have trusted, accurate sources of information.
Aunt Lori
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