“I don’t see you as disabled,” is something that most disabled people have heard. It’s usually intended as a compliment, but in reality it reinforces shame about being disabled and erases what is a large part of a person’s identity.

I’m disabled every day, every night, every minute, every second; it affects every part of my life. It’s a part of me, and I’m not ashamed of it. There’s nothing immoral about my disabilities and I didn’t incur the wrath of a higher power by crimes against humanity – I just survived a difficult situation. So why would someone think it flattering to “look over” it?

If you’re my former nurse, upon hearing this, you’ll assume disability is my entire identity. No. Every person is multifaceted and has several parts to their identity. Having one facet being disabled doesn’t mean that my personality is homogeneous cripple; it’s not my whole identity, but it’s part of it and I don’t feel ashamed of it. I’m disabled, but I’m also creative, witty, nurturing, passionate about my interests, and sometimes I’m funny. All these details come together to create the portrait of me.

If you really want to see me, see all of me.